Going Straight

Willie's humanitarian impulses are defeated by his boss' lechery; Doug overestimates his fix-it skills.

Written by Marshall Herskovitz; produced by Nigel McKeand; directed by James Broderick. Shera Danese: Bambi. Marty Ingels: Gip Goddard. Mimi Kennedy: Karen. Pat Corley: driver.

Kate: Elaine's had some work done at her house. She says the plumber is a genius. I'm gonna call her and get his number.
Doug: Oh no, honey, honey, I wouldn't do that. It'd just be another 45 dollars down the drain.
Kate: Even that's better than nothing down the drain.
Willie: What are you doing?
Doug: Oh, we had some trouble with the shower upstairs. Your mother hired a plumber for 85 dollars -- he only made matters worse!
Willie: So you're taking care of it?
Doug: Yeah. I could use a little help, if you've got the time.
Willie: Oh, I'm sorry, Dad, I have to get into the office early today. Two really wild things happened yesterday. Gip Goddard told me I could hire a secretary --
Doug: That's very impressive.
Willie: Well, I already hired one --
Doug: You know what I discovered? There are three pipes. There should only be two pipes -- one for hot, and one for cold. You hired someone?
Willie: Yeah! You'll never guess who. Bambi Deering!
Doug: See, that's the problem -- the third pipe! The third pipe is causing a pressure buildup! [pause] Do I know Bambi Deering?
Willie: From my birthday last year! She spent the evening with us! She helped us patch things up...
Doug: Aah. That Bambi Deering. The one who was a...
Willie: Yeah. Yeah. She's the one I hired.
Doug: Oh. [fake smile] Well, say hello.
[Bambi, sitting at typewriter, takes off jacket to reveal fairly slutty outfit]
Bambi: Oh... I knew it wasn't right -- but believe me, it was the best one of the lot.
Willie: No, that's OK.
Bambi: No, it isn't. Why don't we just forget the whole thing?
Willie: No way! C'mon. [helps her back into her jacket]
Bambi: Willie? What? Where're we going?
Willie: The college shop at the nearest department store.
Bambi: College shop? Oh! You know, I used to know this guy -- he used to like me to wear those knee-socks... Uh, never mind.